It was super windy as I drove from Eagle to Edwards today, and I could hear the duct tape and glue crackling and peeling away from my plexiglass window. As the wind beat against the non-aerodynamic side of my car, attempting to push me into the other lane against my will, I prayed the prayer I have so often prayed over my cars “Lord, please hold this thing together. Please make it work until THE DAY I don’t need it anymore.” I prayed this over my little Saturn wagon years ago, and no joke, the day a new car was gifted to me (Thanks Mom and Jose!), the trusty old wagon died forever and I had to get it towed out of my parking lot.
This isn’t just the story with cars.
Can I tell you stories of God’s delightful and often bizarre provision throughout my life?
I am in a season of uncomfortable need in trusting God for my daily bread. I am support raising as a missionary, which is turning out to be a huge mix of emotions. Exciting and encouraging at times, sure. At other times it’s “Am I crazy? Is God crazy? This is crazy…” I am not working a steady job so that I have time to meet with people as needed, and am just doing odd jobs and LOTS of babysitting. Sometimes fear creeps in. At the end of the month, when phone bills and student loans come due, I always wonder…will this happen? Has enough come in?
As I have voiced my thoughts to different friends, at least 3 of them have said “Aren’t you the one who prayed for a new hoodie that one time? And a haircut? And cars…?” Um, yes. I am. But more importantly, God is the One who has ALWAYS PROVIDED MORE THAN ENOUGH.
When I was 22 and foolish and indecisive about my life, I was also broke and working for a family that had just told me they couldn’t afford me anymore. And then, such a tiny thing really, the zipper broke on my one and only hoodie. It was a favorite! And I badly needed a haircut and was 5 states away from my mom so I couldn’t ask her. So, I prayed and said “God, this might be dumb, but you say you delight to take care of your children. I know there are many many needs greater than mine, but my hoodie zipper is busted and I need a haircut.” (I was actually specific, I really wanted a “Suzie” haircut, because she was the best hair stylist in our church at the time.
An hour later, I headed to Sunday evening church. Upon entering the building, my friend Steve came up to me and said “Hey, there’s these clothes over there that the church was selling as a fundraiser, and I’ve really been wanting to buy you something!” Right on the front of the rack was a super cool hoodie. Check. Another hour later, a neighbor asked me if I could dog sit, and gave me the exact amount of money needed to have Suzie cut my hair, tip included.
So, yes. I’ve prayed for hoodies, for haircuts. For cars to come to me, for cars to keep working. One time, I prayed with a roommate for bread, because we were broke and had an empty refrigerator. Well, the baker at the nearby Panera happened to know us, and an hour later (without knowing our prayer) dropped off a bag of all the “leftovers” from the day– 22 bagels, 8 loaves of bread, 16 cookies, and 12 pastries. I’m just saying…remember who you’re talking to when you ask the Father for bread. I’ve prayed for work to come, for an affordable apartment in downtown Denver during art school. I think God probably gets a kick out of the things we ask Him for, but I have found that it’s the super specific prayers that I seem to have specific rememberances of Him answering. That’s the whole point though, isn’t it? For us to remember Him, to love Him, to thank Him and not just take our “stuff” and move on with our lives.
I’m currently praying for work to last until I move to Costa Rica, for the funds to come in for my ministry work so that I can move to Costa Rica, for a new camera to take with me, and for the old one to keep working until I get a new one. Oh, and for my window to not come flying off and hit some random driver on I-70. Truly, I pray for this every time I get on the interstate.
The truth of the matter is, for all of God’s children and not just Kathryn Bronn, He really does take care of us. He really does delight in what seem to be foolish prayers, but if they come from an earnest heart, they’re sweet to Him. The number of stories throughout my own childhood and adulthood of God showing up for my family–especially my mother–could hardly be contained in an entire book. The stories of God providing for those He loves throughout history could fill entire libraries. During this season of learning a new, deeper, more tangible, and definitely more uncomfortable level of trust in Him, I have meditated many many times on Psalm 37:25. I imagine myself as a young-ish woman, sitting at the feet of David as an old, wise, life-experienced man. This man, our spiritual father, really, this man who is known for his heart that KNEW God more than any man before or after him, he said:
“I have been young, and now am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, nor His descendants begging bread. He is ever merciful and lends, and His descendants are blessed.”
Thank you to Kim, Becky, Jamie, and Brooke who have all reminded me in moments of doubt about the haircut and hoodie. We really do have a good, good Father.