I can always tell that I have been neglecting my blog when I log in and there’s 20 or so bizarre comments left by spammers. Some of them are pretty entertaining! But alas. Here I am.
Sometimes it is necessary to just quietly disappear for a bit. Not that I have disappeared at all, but I have from my writing. I often overestimate my own abilities with the time I have been given, and think that I am Wonder Woman… nope, sleep is needed. And attention to those directly in front of me. So, now I have moved, I have simplified my life, I am mostly caught up on my work for my wonderful clients, and am trying my best to be present here in Alaska, enjoying the glorious summer.
What is significant that I should write?
When all the “stuff” in our lives gets stripped away, is what is left anything substantial? I now wake up every morning to this sight. And I am learning to be still and simply observe it.
This is now my third time coming to Port Alsworth. Both previous times I walked around constantly with the camera to my face. Now, I have hardly taken it out. I want to actually meet and connect with people! To look at the mountains, and the vibrant colors around me, and just soak them in.
I don’t know… I feel like I have been going and going and going for several years now. People have admired the adventure my life seems to contain. But within adventure, there can be a lot of loneliness. There is a restlessness in me that I am discovering cannot be filled or fixed by constant movement, travel, or seeking. I must simply be still, and let God bring healing and satisfaction. So, that is where I am, and what I am doing. I have been asked a hundred times by people at home and here how long I’ll be staying. “Until further notice”, is my answer. Until God says otherwise.
I am doing some more serious writing just now. Also some serious processing of things that happened many years ago. I kind of desire to go off the grid. 3.5 years in I am still deciding what my business should focus on, and what I am supposed to be blogging about. I could write an award winning blog post on “How NOT to Blog”. How to ramble. How to make clients think you’re absolutely crazy. There’s a winner. So, I’ll keep my writing in a journal until it starts to make sense. I’ll look out my living room window at the lake and the glorious mountains. I will sit on the stoop of the little cabin in the woods in the middle of Nowhere, Alaska, and wait for what the Lord decides is best for my life.
I truly am grateful for this season. I can look back just a few blog posts, and several pages in my journal where the Lord spoke grace over my coming here for the summer. He has put on my heart the word “Restoration”, and I think I am in need of it far more than I suspected. I am grateful for the love I have been met with here. For the friendships, all over the globe, really. For the seasons that I am to be one place or another, and the fact that God provides abundant family wherever that may be. I am glad to be here.