May 15, 2012

Of all things surrounding weddings that I could mention, there is one that irks me more than all others:  the people who RSVP and then do not bother to show up at the celebration.  I have seen this at nearly every wedding I’ve attended or worked at.  The escort card table, after everyone has gone in to eat, with the scattered remains of people who were no-shows.

Let’s consider this situation for a moment from the perspective of the bride and groom. They have invited all those they love the most to this event, be it 10 or 500 people.  They have planned this day for months, and have made sure their guests would be well taken care of, as far as they can manage.  So many pieces have been involved in the planning—invitations, photographer, location, food, plane tickets, the dress and tuxes.  Oh, the list could go on and on.

If you receive a wedding invitation and cannot attend, or simply do not want to attend, it is probably best to come up with some excuse right away.  The alternative is to leave the bride and groom hanging on their big day.  You may think that no one will notice your absence, but the reality is that they do.

A perfect example of this situation can be seen in some close friends of mine from Vail.  They were married in June of 2009, with 250 guests in Beaver Creek, Colorado.  They had a bit of help from their families in paying for the wedding, but most of the cost fell to them.  When they did the cost breakdown, each dinner for the guests was about $50.  They had a total of 10 people RSVP and then decide to not show up.  So they ended up paying the $500 for their food anyway, and it went to waste.

The bottom line is common courtesy.  It is a major wedding taboo to RSVP and not show up.  I read a great article about other wedding no-no’s to commit, but this was at the very top of their list as well.  Be considerate of those who value your presence on the most important day of their lives!

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